Gold Wedding Anniversary Moment-in-Time

1993. One year before I lost 80+ pounds. Five years before Mom and Dad sold their home and built their dream home in New Mexico. Eight years before they had to come home due to declining health, and Dad passed away soon after. 14 years before Mom passed on. 25 years until one of the two tall, old oak trees that held the rope swing for over a century, fell down from age, finally giving up the ghost. But for this one moment, we were all there, alive, happy to be with one another. That time never came again. Remember to always, ALWAYS cherish the moments you have...

I posted the photo with my comments on Facebook.  My cousin, David saw it, and posted the comments below, and I responded to him...

David Conley I miss your mom and dad! 😢 and I sure had a wonderful time helping them set up their home here in new mexico. I did a lot of work for them, and uncle Gordon would always take me up to pizza hut, to the buffet, for lunch!! Either there, or dairy queen! Lol

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  Trish Short Lewis I never knew that, David. What work did you do for them?

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  David Conley Trish Short Lewis oh just a bunch of yard work. Leveling the lot, spreading gravel, put up a car port, and put in one of those circular clothes hangers in their yard.

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  Trish Short Lewis David Conley I'm sure they greatly appreciated the help. Handyman smaller jobs like that aren't easy to come by as they once were, fewer people want to do them, it seems. It's nice to hear about it. Yeah, my Dad was always a kind man, and enjoyed th…See More

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  David Conley Trish Short Lewis ya they're very fond memories for me! Your dad was great then! He had the shaking from the parkinsons, but other than that he was the same old Gordon I remembered as a kid! And I always enjoyed the stories he would tell!! 😁

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  Trish Short Lewis David Conley I figured as much. He was very worried about Mom starting the last year they were there 2000 and into early 2001. He saw her changing, and because he was aware of his own body weakening, it greatly worried him. He was under a lot of stress. Bills weren't getting paid or were being paid late. Their house wasn't being kept as tidy as it once was. He was at the point that he needed more help and Mom couldn't give it to him, and I got the impression they weren't always able to avail themselves of services that might have helped, as they once would have done due to forgetfulness, stress, confusion, and/or poor health. Their church friends stepped in and finally called us...It greatly saddens me it had to be like that for them. They deserved better. They deserved more. :'(

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  David Conley Trish Short Lewis yes i agree. And I wish I had still been here then, but I had gone back to Wisconsin in '99 to be nearer to my daughter. It was shortly thereafter that they both started to decline, as did my grandma.

Change of Life

Gastric Bypass Surgery Diagram

I'll be having bariatric surgery two weeks from today.  Gastric Bypass surgery to be exact. Last night was my last normal meal for many weeks. Today I start a pre-operative diet to prepare my body for the procedure, mainly, as they told me, to lessen fat around the liver, making the operation easier.

After surgery, I will be in hospital for a few days, walking every 2 hours or so to ensure all the air they pump into me during the surgery makes its way up my body and out. When I go home, I was told I'll need to take it easy for 2-3 weeks so nothing internally is torn or hemorrhages.  I'll be having a liquid diet only at first, then pureed, and finally at about 2 months I graduate to soft foods, etc.

I am told that a lifelong habit of chewing to applesauce consistency, eating slowly, eating small amounts but more often, is how I'll be eating from now on.  I'll also need to eat a combination of high protein and nutrient-dense foods (certain vegetables and fruits, but mostly vegetables) - rather like a Paleo diet.  And lots and lots of water (minimum of 64 ounces a day, taken 30 minutes before and after meals which are only 2 hours apart, leaving one hour to drink in sips only of 1-2 ounces at a time...I still can't figure out how they think we're going to get 64 ounces drank a day at that rate...!!)


The final piece of the puzzle is to move more.  Housework, stairs, walking, yoga, weights - all will be part of my daily life for the rest of my life.

I admit I'm nervous.  But I'm also excited.  I want to have a great quality of life as I enter the homestretch of my life.  Sure, I'm only 58, but I don't kid myself - it's more likely I have less time left than the life I've lived.  Whatever time I have left, I want it to be as healthy and fulfilling as possible.  If you're reading this, I encourage you to do the same...

One Winter's Night: Grandma & Me Alone

I don't have a clue once I get past the second move

I loved being with my Grandma Fitzpatrick so much when I was growing up. I missed her when in later years she spent half the year with Aunt Pat and Uncle John in Bemidji.

I loved it when she came to live with us.

One of my deepest memories of her is the evening we spent alone in the living room, the room she helped build in 1906, and here we were in 1972...and we talked about games she and other children used to play when she was young..."Fox and Geese" was one...and then we got some yarn out, and she taught me "Cat's Cradle", which I thought I knew, but I only knew a tiny part of it in actual fact.

I learned for one thing that it was a game that should be played with a partner, which enabled much more complex and fun string art to be created. I learned that it was challenging, fun, and that if you start laughing it can really mess up your concentration.

A Winter's Game: Fox & Geese

Grandma eventually gave up with me because I "lost my way", and I began laughing again, and then we both ended up laughing.

We thought we would do it again and I would get further. But it never happened. She forgot because there were so many things she had to cope with due to her infirmities, and I forgot because I was young and unconsciously assumed I would have time.

But time isn't kind, and when I remembered, it was far, far too late.

Old Homes are Old Friends

The house I grew up in.  The section far to the right was all that was originally built by
my grandparents in 1906.  The rest has been added on over the years.  Every time I go
by and visit the house, I almost think my parents are going to come up to hug me...

I grew up in a very old house that leaned and creaked and had strange smells, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I loved it.

I am once again in an old "home with character".  I sometimes have little plants struggling through the cracks in the basement concrete by the washing machine, and herds of Daddy Long-legs living in the bathroom, as well as a colony of ladybugs hanging out pretty much everywhere they want to.  Many things don't work quite right, and it takes a lot of love and care, but that's alright.  I can relate.

Dad's Birthday, March 14th

Tomorrow, my father would be 93 years old if he was still with us. He made up great stories, loved watching cartoons with me, helped me build a fence, I helped him move an outhouse; through the years he shared his life with me, and when he couldn't, he wrote it down for me to find later after he was gone. Near the end, I helped him walk and take showers, and listened as he shared how it was to slowly lose your body not just to age but to Parkinson's, yet feel the same as when you were young inside. Tomorrow, I will miss Dad, as I miss him and Mom every single day.

The Language of Sewing

Hems. Tension. Darts. Inset sleeves. Pleats. Notions¹. A-line. Remnant. Basting (and not as in a Turkey!) Bias. Blind-stitching. Spool.  Tracing. Interfacing. Ripper (of which I have become very familiar with through the years!) Gather. Lining. Seams. Patterns. Pinking Shears.

All these words and terms are old friends of mine.  I have neglected them in the last few years because other things in life became a higher priority, not to mention lack of time.  I realize now that much of it was my own tendency to become easily distracted and enamored by all things new or different.

It's not that I didn't realize the value of knowing how to take up a hem, mend a tear, sew on a button, or even sew an entire garment.  No, it was more about eating up life as fast as I could because with every passing year I felt the hand of the Grim Reaper tapping me a little harder on the shoulder, and I wasn't going down before seeing and doing all I could.

Now that I have come full circle, and am on the homestretch towards that "undiscovered country", I reflect on the skills of my youth.  I cannot fathom producing dresses, blouses, skirts, etc. as I once did, but I do love knowing that I could, if I had to.

Sewing is like a riding a bicycle, and getting back on the wheel, bobbin, foot, and feed would be easy as pie.  Oh dear, I am really mixing my metaphors!

 ¹ - Speaking of notions (i.e., buttons, trim, zippers, etc.), my grandmother and mother were very practical, economical women.  When a garment became irreparable, you didn't simply throw it away.  First, you stripped it of anything useful - old buttons, zippers, hooks and eyes, appliques, even collars, lace or ribbon.  Anything that could be recycled was carefully removed and stored for possible future use.

Parkinson's Black Cloud

Parkinson's Disease forces a person to face their mortality every day...
Photo Credit:  Salon / Shutterstock

My father had Parkinson's. He was diagnosed with it not long after he retired.  At first, the symptoms were hardly noticeable, and with low doses of medication, didn't affect his daily life much at all.  But as it always does with the disease, it progressed.  Medication dosages increased, and despite them the signs such as decreased speech volume, trembling, and general weakness heightened.  Mom tried not to show it, but she grew angry, taking it very personally.  To her, Parkinson's was a very real enemy, and she resented the fact that just as Dad and her were not only alone, but free to travel and enjoy their golden years, there was a black cloud over them.

In 2001, my sisters and I found out that Parkinson's was taking a heavy toll on both Mom and Dad.  As we brought Dad and Mom came back from New Mexico for good., I didn't know I had so little time left with him.

During the quiet moments when Dad and I were alone, he would share with me what it was like to have hallucinations, a common side effect of his meds.  How, although he knew he was awake and "they weren't really there", he often saw wee, little people sitting on the end of his bed, or climbing up his dresser.  He said it was a surreal experience, something he couldn't explain away.  I asked him how he dealt with it.  "I just watch them, remind myself it's not real."  What else could he do?

Dad had a dignity and pragmatism about his growing frailty.  He cherished Mom while at the same time being very concerned for her, recognizing that the mental health concerns and emotional weakness he had long been aware of, was now growing stronger for her.  He had been shielding her from their consequences as much as she had been helping his due to Parkinson's.  They were a team.

Dad went first, only a few months after their return; in the end, it was his heart that gave out.  Mom went with him that day...but her body held on for another six years.

My Health at a Glance

Procedures:

• Post endoscopic sinus surgery (Dr. Tsen in Fargo)
• Post Tonsillectomy
• Post gall bladder removal surgery
• Post kidney stone removal

Conditions diagnosed with:

• Interstitial Cystitis (IC)
• Raynaud’s Phenomenon
• Sjögren's syndrome
• Hypertension
• Hypothyroidism

History of:

• Chronic bladder & kidney infections
• Chronic sinus infections
• Irregular periods
• Periodic Amennorrhea

• Chronic anemia
• Constipation (sometimes impacted, sometimes small hard balls, sometimes thick, dark, and tar-like)
• Deep tissue pain
• Numbness of toes/ball of foot
• Periodic Plantar Fascitis
• Hear arrhythmia
• Anxiety

Medications:

• Atenanol (Hypertension & heart arrhythmia)
• Elmiron (IC)
• Evoxac (Sjögren's)
• Restasis (Sjögren's/eyes) (Dr. Scheel in Fargo)
• Levothyroxin (Hypothyroidism)
• Generic Flonaise (Periodic Rhinitis)
• Prevident (Sjögren's/dental)
• Premarin (Peri-menopausal vaginal dryness//thinning tissue)
• Nexium (GERD)
• Paxil (Anxiety)