I grew up in 'the church'.

Someone from the area I grew up recently asked me,

"...One of the things I have been dying to ask you is how you were able to transcend the narrow world view of the Evangelical Free Church. My sisters are members and it seems to be a narrow, constricted and very boring way to live. I cannot imagine myself going to a Bible College or even spending one hour with this group. I really resent the way that the Republicans use the evangelicals. I cannot imagine how JC would be giving tax breaks to the wealthy, plundering the environment, or really any of the policies. How have you been able to find the balance and have an interest in books, art, etc. other than the Holy Book? My sister [censored] in particular sees everything through that lens, but [censored] at least does not press it on me. I would like to understand more about how one can be an evangelical and see other dimensions of life."

I answered him after some thought...

"I admit I'm not your average joe in the EFC church, but I know there are others like me in the church. I am not 'in' the church anymore, but still consider myself a Christian of sorts. Mostly out of habit, I admit. I mostly tell people that nobody knows anything and to say otherwise is pure arrogance. I think atheists are just as bad as fundamentalist anything else. 'Believers' can be very narrow-minded no matter what their agenda. One thing I liked about some of the stuff I grew up with was that there was truth in some of it that made sense to me then and now - 'all have sinned' - ain't it the truth!"

As we grow older, even as we face our parents' mortalities, we face our own.

I was reading about the home funerals movement tonight, and it made me think about how ever since my Dad passed away, and I was involved in helping with his 'arrangements' for the funeral, it has made me rethink everything I ever assumed about the end of life and how it is handled. I've spent a good deal of time researching what the laws are on how bodies can be handled, what are the legal methods of disposal of a body, and what rights I have as an individual to have a say in how my body is disposed of when I die.

I've taken steps to have my body used, then disposed of, in what I feel is the best way possible. I want to share anything useful of my former 'house' before it rots and is no more, by donating anything that can be reused for others whether that is an organ or tissue or whatever. I want to spare unnecessary and wasteful expense by having my body either donated for a medical student to dissect, or if nothing else, cremated. After reading the article on home funerals, I can imagine how nice it would be if people had a chance to really meet and say goodbye to me, to have a chance to heal, to be 'up close and personal' with my old body, macabre as you might think that sounds.

Personally, I find it comforting to have the chance to be near someone I love after they leave their body. I watched as my own father died, the life going out of his body even before the last breath was drawn, and I could easily see he was long gone, to where, no one knows, because once you are 'there', you don't come back to tell anyone. Anyone that says otherwise is just guessing, don't let them fool you. Some hope for the best, prepare for the worst, while others ignore it. Whatever you believe, it's just that - a belief, and not a fact. Time will definitely tell...