Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

9.18.2025

“Precious Memories, How They Linger…”: My First Church

Summer 1959.  Bill, Marge & Debbie Dykhuis; Mrs. Erickson (pastor’s wife) with baby; and Gordon, Harriet & Trish Short.  Pastor Erickson presiding over the babies’ dedications at St. Vincent EFC
I remember vividly being a child attending services at the St. Vincent Evangelical Free Church.  I remember a small, cozy sanctuary, with tiled ceilings, drop lights with opaque fixtures.  I remember hard wood pews (swinging little short legs, accidentally too hard and kicking the pew in front of me, then on purpose, then getting taken outside for a “talk”), and humble but inspiring communion tables at the center front, always supplied with fresh flowers by the ladies of the church on a rotational basis.  The candles, the offering plates with their red velvet lining.  The offering plates that as they passed, as you passed them along, made you feel obligated to give something.  Paper was always better than coins.  Paper meant a substantial donation, something you could feel proud of, and you could feel others would notice and you felt better for it.  Pride wasn't the goal, but it was often felt and thought of by more than a few, sitting in those pews.  

Families had their places, their pews.  We didn't sell pews as some churches did, but it was an unspoken assumption where families would sit.  So-and-so's family always sat on the left, by the aisle, seven rows back.  This family always sat on the right and towards the middle, on the third pew back on the right side of the church.  They were an important family for our church, the family that gave the most, and thus it was logical they sat near the front.  Other families that could not give as much, or felt a bit unwelcome but still felt strongly about attending church, sat further back, and slipped out first after the service, avoiding having to talk to others in the congregation.  

There were the women and men who worked tirelessly, being part of the Ladies' Aid, the Deacons, the Ushers.  Or they taught Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, produced/printed up the weekly bulletins, or led prayers at services.  Others who were musically-inclined, did special numbers, or played the organ or piano to accompany choirs, singers, or for the congregation as they sang the old hymns.  Hymns that rang out each Sunday morning and night, and Wednesday night prayer service, strong and true.  We sang with gusto, and we sang in harmony, and sometimes just singing became a spine-tingling spiritual experience and tears would come to your eyes.  Although I haven’t attended that church since 1968 (or any church since 1994), I can still remember all the melodies and words to those precious, old hymns, and often sing them around my house to this day.  And of course the potluck dinners in the basement!

Then there was the after-service visiting.  I remember so well as a little girl, wanting to get over to my grandma's right away, because I knew there was a delicious meal waiting for us.  It was a tradition for my family, you see, to go to my grandpa and grandma's house every week for a Sunday dinner.  Dinner was not an evening meal where I grew up.  It was a midday meal, while Supper was eaten at night.  Lunch was used for things like school, but at home it was not.  Anyways, back to after-service-visiting…

It was also, unfortunately for myself as a little girl, a weekly tradition for the adults to visit after church services.  There were a few that kept it to a minimum, but pretty much everyone participated.  I often noticed that my family were one of the last ones to leave, much to my chagrin!

There was an unspoken etiquette to the visiting, too.  Like the Stages of the Cross, it began as the benediction ended and everyone rustled, grabbed their purses, children, or coats; then they stood, often in-place in the pews, sometimes sliding out to the aisles, and a few words were spoken.  Church business, asking after someone, catching up on news.  Then the inevitable journey through the crowd towards the minister, where you would tell him what you thought of the sermon, and he would shake your hand and wish you well.  

If it was winter, everyone would stop to get their coats and boots, which gave over to more visiting.  Men would go start cars to warm up a bit while ladies waited and often visited some more.  In summer, there was more visiting by everyone - besides what was already mentioned, there were the chats on the tall front steps, the lawn chats, the between car chats, and sometimes even the in-the-car-with-the-window-rolled down chats.  I’d often think to myself, “Will it ever end?” I’m joking (somewhat), because if I was fortunate, there might be one or two families with kids my age still there that I could play games with or at least hang out with, but often not. For us in-town families that didn’t have to travel anywhere, no need to hurry off.  

Last of all, there were the inevitable talkers that you couldn’t get away from; some seemed to have a talent for drifting when  you thought you had a way out and then suddenly they would speed up again, and it was like you were pinned down simply by the sound of their voice and couldn’t get away!  Thoughts of Grandma’s roast chicken and gravy tortured me as I stood there suffering. Of course, we always got to eat her amazing meals, which she kept warm no matter how long the visiting took.

I can see, in my mind’s eye, every corner of that little, humble church.  I remember sanctuary windows being opened by ushers during hot summer Sundays, to let welcome breezes in.  I remember fussing babies and toddlers taken by young parents to the nursery during services, a separate small room between the sanctuary and the foyer.  I remember the basement where there was a kitchen, but the main area was open, and used for Sunday school ‘rooms’ separated by curtains; during potluck meals, folder tables and chairs were set up in the same space for dining.  I remember what the old pulpit looks like, and the two flags on poles on either side, behind it, along the wall - the American flag, and the Christian flag.

It was both an exciting day, and a sad day, when our congregation had their last service in St. Vincent, and soon after, the first service in Pembina.  Time marches on, but I will never forget my first church where I began my journey of faith…

7.31.2019

Gold Wedding Anniversary Moment-in-Time

1993. One year before I lost 80+ pounds. Five years before Mom and Dad sold their home and built their dream home in New Mexico. Eight years before they had to come home due to declining health, and Dad passed away soon after. 14 years before Mom passed on. 25 years until one of the two tall, old oak trees that held the rope swing for over a century, fell down from age, finally giving up the ghost. But for this one moment, we were all there, alive, happy to be with one another. That time never came again. Remember to always, ALWAYS cherish the moments you have...





I posted the photo with my comments on Facebook.  My cousin, David saw it, and posted the comments below, and I responded to him...

David Conley I miss your mom and dad! 😢 and I sure had a wonderful time helping them set up their home here in new mexico. I did a lot of work for them, and uncle Gordon would always take me up to pizza hut, to the buffet, for lunch!! Either there, or dairy queen! Lol
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  • Trish Short Lewis I never knew that, David. What work did you do for them?
  • David Conley Trish Short Lewis oh just a bunch of yard work. Leveling the lot, spreading gravel, put up a car port, and put in one of those circular clothes hangers in their yard.
    1
  • Trish Short Lewis David Conley I'm sure they greatly appreciated the help. Handyman smaller jobs like that aren't easy to come by as they once were, fewer people want to do them, it seems. It's nice to hear about it. Yeah, my Dad was always a kind man, and enjoyed thSee More
  • David Conley Trish Short Lewis ya they're very fond memories for me! Your dad was great then! He had the shaking from the parkinsons, but other than that he was the same old Gordon I remembered as a kid! And I always enjoyed the stories he would tell!! 😁
    1
  • Trish Short Lewis David Conley I figured as much. He was very worried about Mom starting the last year they were there 2000 and into early 2001. He saw her changing, and because he was aware of his own body weakening, it greatly worried him. He was under a lot of stress. Bills weren't getting paid or were being paid late. Their house wasn't being kept as tidy as it once was. He was at the point that he needed more help and Mom couldn't give it to him, and I got the impression they weren't always able to avail themselves of services that might have helped, as they once would have done due to forgetfulness, stress, confusion, and/or poor health. Their church friends stepped in and finally called us...It greatly saddens me it had to be like that for them. They deserved better. They deserved more. :'(
  • David Conley Trish Short Lewis yes i agree. And I wish I had still been here then, but I had gone back to Wisconsin in '99 to be nearer to my daughter. It was shortly thereafter that they both started to decline, as did my grandma.

5.27.2019

The End of a Childhood Friend



I lost a good friend recently - an old oak tree that was one of two that held up an iron bar, a set of rings, from which ropes hung that held a wooden seat. My grandfather put it up over a century ago. My mother and her siblings, my sisters and I and my nieces, nephews, and my children all swung on it.

But a recent bad storm broke the tree in half, at the point where the tree had grown around the iron bar many, many years ago. Slowly but surely, my childhood home is going back to nature.

The acorns, the oak leaves I collected and preserved in wax paper with an iron. The red squirrels that made it their home and ran through the branches chattering and chasing one another. I didn't even hear any squirrels or even birdsong in the little woods north of the old home I grew up in.

I feel incredibly sad but realize this is how things are, always have been, and always will be. Change is the only constant...

2.23.2017

Idyllic Summers

This song got me through one of my first periods of depression when I was attending NDSU in the fall of 1977. My dorm room mate was my best friend Kathy. I listened to this song over and over again, because it spoke to me with it's melancholy melody, and lyrics that reminded me so much of parts of my life at that time. "...riding on the roadside..." was to me, the idyllic summers my friend and I had riding our horses day after day, with no cares at all. We knew at the time it wouldn't last, so we drank it in and treasured it, even as it was happening. Days and days of sunshine, wind, and open prairie, cantering and galloping across the fields and dirt roads. This song brings it all back to me...

9.10.2014

Dad & Technology

My Dad never went past the 8th grade.  Back in his day, especially if you were a farm boy, that was common.  You were needed on your parents' farm, you accepted it, it was the way it was.

Thus, Dad never learned things like typing in a business class.

After the war, he came home to a small homestead that sustained the family with pasture and livestock, as well as a large garden.  Soon he realized he'd have to return to education to make a better life.  Despite not having a high school diploma, he was still able to take advantage of the new G.I. Bill, and went away to a school called the Gale Institute in Minneapolis, MN.  He had to be away for the better part of nine months from Mom, but he stuck it out.  He wrote letters home, and looked ahead to making a better life for his young family.

His course was focused on teaching him skills he would need to be a telegrapher for the railroad.  I don't what the entire curriculum consisted of outside of telegraphy itself, but evidently typing was not included.  To the day he retired, he always typed using what he called the 'hunt and peck' method.
Ad in July 1949 Popular Mechanics for training at the Gale Institute in Minneapolis, Minn.,
for railroad jobs. It was one like this that my Dad and his brother Robert saw that eventually 
got them to attend Gale Institute in early 1951.  Both of them ended up getting good jobs 
with the Great Northern Railway (which became the Burlington Northern) for their entire 
careers - Dad in Minnesota, and Uncle Robert in Montana...

I learned that term from him one day when my mother took me to visit him at his office, in the depot at Noyes, MN.  I still remember well the first time I visited the depot.  I was just a little girl, only about 7 or 8 at most.  To me, it was a thrilling experience to see where my father worked.  Passengers were still part of the business then, and we entered via the waiting room with its beautiful long, wood benches.  There was a water machine, with its big glass container sitting on top.  I went to check it out, and found of all things, paper cups!  I had to try it.  As I put the cup under the spigot and pressed the button, I almost jumped as the machine made a huge "glug, glug, glug" sound and large bubbles drifted up inside the upside down glass bottle.  I tried it again with the same result.  I laughed and thought, what a fun way to get water to drink!

I then noticed the counters and men behind them sitting at desks or walked through with papers, my ears picking up an interesting staccato clicking, of varying speeds.  My Mom went to the counter and Dad came to greet her.  He saw me and I looked up at him and he smiled.  "Would you like to come inside and see where I work?"  I replied, "Yes!"

5.18.2013

Homestead for Sale

Me and my teddy bear out in the yard, circa 1961

I would buy it in a skinny minute, as a retreat for writing, and it would be close to the museum for research. If only I could...

The house I grew up in, the one my grandparents built, is up for sale again. If only I had a spare $100,000  available. It needs a lot of TLC and capital put into it, but I'd find a way to do it if I could. I love that house, I love the land it is on. I love the town it is in. It won't make sense to many others, but it's not just a place. It's my family, my roots, my neighbors, my friends, my history. It's love.

Several people have commented about it, including those that have connections back home, or still live there:
Cleo Bee Jones: I know how you feel, I always wanted to get the land my grandparents farm house had been and built a new house on it and made the rooms bigger and more of them, so all of us 39 grandchildren and families could use it any time...  
Margaret Dykhuis: I agree with you, Trisha. When I drive by the house my father built, I wish for a moment that I still lived there. 

3.16.2013

How I Became a Political Activist

My membership button from the
organization Annie created to
watch for violations of the laws
created to protect the wild horses:
Wild Horse Organized Assistance

I was what was commonly called 'horse crazy' when I was a little girl.  I loved all things horses.  I loved how they looked, and how they made me feel, and when I could see a real one, I would pet it and smell it and hug it.  I wanted one so bad I could feel it to my core.  One year, after a lot of focus, determination, and hard work, that came true.

But first, I read about them.  Boy, did I.  I was so obsessed for the first several years of my reading life, I would not read about anything else.  When I was around 10 years old, I read a book that was about more than just horses; it was about some very special horses, and they needed help.  Marguerite Henry's prize-winning children's book, Mustang: Wild Spirit of the West.  Through that book, a woman named Velma Johnston became a popular heroine to millions of American children. With clear, innocent vision, we young readers of her book quickly grasped the heart of the issue.  One young reader's letter to Ms. Henry shared:
"It makes me angry and I think that the horses should be allowed to run free. They will soon be like the Buffalo that used to roam the plains of America. Extinct."
I had the same reaction.  I wanted to do something about it!  But what could I do, just a kid?  I didn't know it then, but there would be a way.

Determined to make a difference, Velma Johnston began a grassroots campaign, that involved mostly school children. Young people from all across America sent letters to newspapers and legislators and attracted enormous attention that outraged the public and made them aware of the issue. And, as public attention grew, some of Johnston's critics began to make fun of her and call her Wild Horse Annie. But no matter what her critics did, she continued her fight — and newspapers continued to publish articles about the exploitation of wild horses and burros. Starting back back in January 1959, Nevada Congressman Walter Baring introduced a bill prohibiting the use of motorized vehicles to hunt wild horses and burros on all public lands. The House of Representatives unanimously passed the bill which became known as the Wild Horse Annie Act. The bill became Public Law 86-234 on Sept. 8, 1959. However, this law did not include Annie's recommendation that Congress begin a program to protect wild horses and burros. Public interest and concern continued to increase, and with it came the realization that federal management was needed. In response to public outcry - including the letters from kids like myself, written to President Nixon - the Senate unanimously passed a law on June 19, 1971. It became known as The Wild Free-Roaming Horse and Burro Act of 1971. Wild Horse Annie knew that young people can make a difference, and through this experience, I learned, too.

12.26.2011

Coop

Coop Door - 2010 [Click to see larger version]
Grape Vine Ivey is growing on, and INSIDE, the chicken coop of my childhood homestead.

Once, at age 3, I chased a cat through that door...

7.24.2002

A Gentle, Fragile Soul

Years ago I was deeply touched by a film short I saw several times on a local public television station. It was entited "Appearances", in reference to the fact that certain characteres in the film were more concerned with how things looked to others, than in showing compassion to those they were responsible for...

Fast Forward about a decade or so. I'm reminded of it somehow, and decide to finally track down the person or persons who put it all together. I finally identify and locate him, writing him a letter....
You ask for a bit more about why it touched me...Many reasons, I guess. I was brought up in a small village in the 1960's and 1970's with a lot of supportive people in my life. I was exposed early to people of all ages, but especially older people. My own grandmother lived down the road, then later with us. I helped play piano and serve communion at nursing homes with my church. I saw on the one hand how people said you should respect your elders but on the other hand many didn't - they were discounted or ignored. My experience was that they were interesting people. In college I visited nursing homes and talked with older people coming away fascinated by their life experiences, realizing once again that the body is simply a shell, but that many cannot get beyond it to see the person.

My father had a younger brother who was mentally fragile, mostly due to environmental reasons (meaning home environment in this instance). My Uncle Grant eventually became unstable enough that he no longer could live on his own. From the stories I heard, from the denigration of his spirit and self-esteem he experienced from his father, he definitely came to mind when I saw your film. I saw it for a wider context, yes, but we all tend to personalize. Some people react to such emotional abuse by getting angry, while other quiet souls retreat as he did.

I think your choice of hard transition, no faces, anchoring the feelings of freedom with the artistic expression of the child with the music refrains, was powerful. It's funny how some things burn into your mind, but "Appearances" definitely did for me...

I try to remember to be compassionate to people, but I admit there are times when thoughtless words come out of my mouth. I am reminded by certain things that cross my life - Christ's words, your film - and I am reminded again, rebuked, and humbled. That is a good thing...
"I have a heart for the physically/mentally disadvantaged...my film pays homage to 'The Elephant Man' and also tries to bring about a new way of looking at persons with disabilities."

- Torry Nordling, producer/director of Appearances