3.13.2004

Several years ago, my daughter Eva came and told me something out of the blue one night.

After Wednesday night kids club at church, she told me about her Grandpa (my father) doing things she was uncomfortable with, and he shouldn't have been doing. It involved taking advantage of her closeness when holding her on his lap and touching her inside her panties sometimes.

You have to believe a child and give them the benefit of the doubt in such situations, at least that's what I think. At the time, I took her to the police where they talked with her while videotaping her. The county attorney where I now lived
contacted Kittson county and the sheriff deputy from Hallock paid my parents a visit. No criminal charges were ever
brought, nor did I file any civil action. To be honest, it was difficult enough doing what I did since it involved my Dad who I loved dearly.

My mother and sister Betty got very upset with me for taking it that far, but I felt strongly I had to not only for Eva's
sake so she knew she could trust me that I cared for her, but if it was true, that my father would be held accountable as I feel he should be. Only three people knew the truth - my father, Eva, and God.

In the end, I met with my father in Grand Forks at an Evangelical Free Church there, halfway between Fargo and St. Vincent, together with each of our pastors, and had a very awkward but necessary meeting to try to facilitate getting at the truth, and, hopefully, begin a healing process.

I cannot remember much of the conversation, to be honest. I do remember one thing: When I asked my father point blank if he was guilty of what Eva accused him of, he did not deny it. I also remember that I offered my forgiveness and continued love, and he wept. I guess you can read into that whatever you want.

Eventually, our family healed, as much as you can after something like that. But I never allowed Eva to visit my parents again alone...